Maria Menounos Likes The Sausage
Yeah, she probably likes them big and hot. The television personality moonlighted as a sausage vendor outside of the legendary Fenway Park, home to the Boston Red Sox and The Green Monster. And the...
View ArticleIt’s Like A Necktie For Your Mouth
Burger King has unleashed a hands-free Whopper holder, for those of us who think fast food isn’t nearly fast enough. Say what you want, but these things are much less annoying than Bluetooth devices....
View ArticleSomeone Notify The MSM
This week saw the relatively easy opening of International Prostitute Day. Brazil’s health ministry on Wednesday pulled an outreach campaign urging sex workers to use condoms after coming under fire...
View ArticleGod, Country, Whore
Meet Nebraska’s Valerie Dodds. The 19-year old – yes, 19 – wants to be a pr0n star; so much so that she posed nude outside her Catholic high school. Aww, someone needs a daddy. A teenage girl has been...
View Article“I Believe You Have My Stapler”
A recent study has found people deemed ugly are belittled and discriminated against in the workplace. In other Earth-shattering news, Kim Kardashian is a talentless whore. People who are considered...
View ArticleMove Over, Cesar Millan
There’s a new “whisperer” in town, and his name is Joseph Alukal. A New York-based urologist, nicknamed the “sperm whisperer,” has become the go-to guy for men looking to freeze their sperm in the race...
View ArticleAsian INS Agent Confirms The Stereotype
Want to know how to get your green card? It’s an ancient Chinese secret. An immigration officer has been indicted on charges that she took cash and egg rolls as bribes from immigrants seeking...
View ArticleYeah, About That “Post-Racial” President…
According to a survey by Rasmussen, that planet healing Obama promised won’t be happening any time soon. A new survey has found that more Americans see black people as racist than white people or even...
View ArticleShenanigans Cost Beauty Queen $5 Million
A former Miss Pennsylvania – of course – has been found guilty of defaming the Miss USA pageant, and its head, Donald trump. The former Miss Pennsylvania who resigned after claiming the Miss USA...
View ArticlePro-Abortionists Are Full Of Sh*t
In this case, that’s neither a joke nor a political statement. Texas abortion rights supporters came to the Capitol yesterday armed with bottles of feces and urine. The Texas Senate has given its...
View ArticleStop In The Name Of Jehovah!
A New York rabbi was arrested for flashing a fake badge and trying to pull people over for driving slowly. That takes a lot of chutzpah. Some drivers in the suburbs north of New York City were startled...
View ArticleGirl U Want
The UK Daily Mail (of course) printed a story entitled, “The Six Things He’s Hoping You’ll Do The First Time You Have Sex.” How could I not snark about this? For those who are embarking on a sexy, new...
View ArticleMy Wallet Is Tingling!
The good monkeys at ThinkGeek – they do good work – are promoting a Spidey Sense t-shirt that alerts you to rearward threats. Thinkgeek’s Tingling Electronic Spidey Sense T-shirt alerts you when...
View ArticleUPS Worker Delivers Small Package
Meet Nick Gilronan, winner of Brooklyn’s Smallest Penis Contest. Nick Gilronan must have big you-know-whats. The 27-year-old UPS Store worker who won Brooklyn’s smallest penis contest said he’s proud...
View ArticleCool, They Got A Blimp!
When it comes to national defense, the Obama administration is ready to party like it’s 1939. Within a year, a pair of souped-up $2.7 billion blimps will be floated 10,000 feet above the District of...
View ArticleFinding Nemo Will Never Be The Same
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but not many of them have claws on their genitals. Canadian scientists have discovered that the innocent-looking male guppy fish has evolved barbs on its penis to...
View ArticleThe Band So Nice They Named Them Twice
Apparently Saturday was Duran Duran Appreciation Day. Who knew (or cared)? Well, besides Vicki, who sent me the link. Incredible that a band formed in 1978 still has a day dedicated to it… I guess it’s...
View ArticleSaudi Airlift Capabilities
From the AP: “Saudi Civil Defence members use a forklift to move Khaled Mohsen Shaeri, 20, from his house in the Saudi city of Jizan, and airlifting him to the capital Riyadh for medical treatment,...
View Article21-Year Old Really Likes Polish Sausage
Of course, in fairness, Ania Lisewska likes sausage from every country. A Polish woman has reportedly vowed to travel to every city across the world in a bizarre quest to sleep with 100,000 men. Ania...
View ArticleSpeaking Of Chicken…
Unless you want a child with a small dingus, don’t eat it while you’re pregnant. Women who eat chicken while pregnant give birth to boys with smaller penises, according to ‘shock-tactic’ animal rights...
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